School of Scum Presents: Math Class (Vulgar Arithmetic for Adults)
by Jeremiah Mastro
"Welcome to class! I am your math teacher, Mr. Peters! I know the first day of school can be a bit intimidating, so I’m here to help! Over the summer, I put together this math workbook so you can fully prepare for our final exam by the end of the year. Traditional math prompts are boring, snoozefests, but not mine! My “laugh out loud” math prompts keep you on the edge of your seat, always wanting to read more! You know, I’ve considered myself a comedian from time to time. Sometimes I think I chose the wrong career path. I could be on stage making people laugh for a living, but here I am teaching you f**king degenerates. If you're asking yourself why the school board approved this book, they didn’t, so we’re going to have to keep this our little secret. These math prompts will give your grandmother a heart attack, your father cancer, and your mother gonorrhea. Show this book to no one outside of this class! Make sure to study with your fellow classmates.
Feel free to write in it, draw in it, throw it in a bonfire, do whatever the f**k you want with it! Just don’t come to my class unprepared or you’ll never see the inside of a college. Make sure to check out the cheat sheet on the last pages to see if you passed or failed. Enjoy challenging your brain and your morals. Good luck!"
